what i heart.

"i don't want to end up simply having visited this world"
-mary oliver, when death comes

ok, so i have been feeling for some time (and maybe knowing more recently) that i need to make some changes to this blog and get it focused. as i have admitted here, and my lovely karly reminded me this weekend - enough with the garden! it's true, but i have been so overwhelmed with what i need to do lately or with what i am avoiding to do (perhaps!) lately that it has been my safe-haven...a.k.a. - easy way out of: being creative, inspired, up late at night obsessive about discovering.

so, to break down a series of events, i was thinking about this today while i was driving (bad idea) and i need to work out some things with what i post about and when, i need to get creative and i need to be inspired...not by tomato plants (though, sometimes yes, that will happen still!) but by living. too many times lately i have simply written the short email saying "days keep passing by! summer is draining me! i promise to call soon!" i need to call people, write the obvious email, send the random card, walk around target and leave with something frivolous in my hand, go to a museum by myself and sketch...it's a must.

i think i had a tipping point tonight reading one of my favorite blogs and seeing her quote one of my favorite poets. so here is one of my favorite poems by mary oliver (who taught at bennington when i was there, and i have a very funny story about that, so remind me to tell it someday!). enjoy and please hang on as i take a few days to sort out what i heart, & what my heart needs here - i promise not to be gone too long, i'll brb;)

The Swan

Did you too see it, drifting, all night, on the black river?
Did you see it in the morning, rising into the silvery air -
An armful of white blossoms,
A perfect commotion of silk and linen as it leaned
into the bondage of its wings; a snowbank, a bank of lilies,
Biting the air with its black beak?
Did you hear it, fluting and whistling
A shrill dark music - like the rain pelting the trees - like a waterfall
Knifing down the black ledges?
And did you see it, finally, just under the clouds -
A white cross Streaming across the sky, its feet
Like black leaves, its wings Like the stretching light of the river?
And did you feel it, in your heart, how it pertained to everything?
And have you too finally figured out what beauty is for?
And have you changed your life?

- Mary Oliver

what do you feel in your heart? how does it change everything? what is beauty for? have you changed your life? discuss.

photo by kristy for thingsihearttoday]